Myesha Chaney, of “Preachers of L.A.”
Image: Myesha Chaney
Myesha Chaney, of “Preachers of L.A.,” on Faith and Mastering the Art of Balance
One thing’s for certain—Myesha Chaney is a force to be reckoned with. As a mother, wife, daughter, song artist, author, and television personality, she has learned the art of balancing it all (without trying to be perfect.) During this season of Preachers of L.A., she chose to be completely authentic—worrying less about others' opinions and more about God’s. Myesha made it clear: “This is the Lord’s work. I’ve yielded to that. I’m like ‘God, if this is how you want me portrayed, I’m good with that.’ I prefer to be on this side of things than to be on the side where there is a focus on ratings. I’d prefer to be 100% authentic to myself.”
Myesha was originally set to appear on a completely different reality series called “Preachers Wives,” on Lifetime. Luckily, it didn’t get legs. After the pilot was shot, it was decided that the show would not be pursued. Unfortunately, the cancellation of the show did not include the canceling of airing the pilot. Myesha explained what happened: “We were coming off of a bad experience as we had just shot a pilot called “Preacher’s Wives” with Lifetime. The way they edited me had me saying things that were clearly out of context....6 months later when we were about to shoot Preachers of L.A., Lifetime decided that they were going to air the pilot. And they aired that thing! And when I tell you I was on the floor. It broke me all the way down...” Thankfully, it wasn’t the end for her. But, a powerful lesson was learned.
Did it hurt? Yes. But, as I quickly learned, nothing holds Myesha down for long. Her focus is on family, ministry, and becoming the best woman that she knows how to be.
The passion she holds for ministry, and women in particular, is evident in the work she does within her church, workshops and conferences. “Hiding behind the Lipstick,” Myesha’s new book, is just an extension of the work she’s done over the years that will now allow her to reach millions of other women outside of California who are looking to be renewed and restored.
What started as a 20 minute interview ended as a 45 minute girl-talk, power-packed, inspirational conversation. And so, as you can guess, I really enjoyed speaking with Myesha. I know that blessings, success, and happiness are going to be a big part of her future. Myesha’s book, Hiding behind the Lipstick, will be released October 22, 2014. If you’re in Southern California, be on the lookout for Gospel Fest 2015 set to take place in June.
Jasmine: A lot of people don’t realize that there’s a lot of weight a woman carries (and or a leader) when they're in charge of a women’s ministry. A lot of the things that happen to the women that are involved in these groups are extremely heavy and mostly heartbreaking. I want to know where you find your strength and balance in all of this. Especially when you begin to feel the heaviness of the group.
Myesha: Well I am not superwoman. So when things are heavy, I make sure to express that. I have found great relief in being honest with myself and with God—I call it drowning in my house. When I tell my husband I’m drowning, he understands that as “okay, you are overwhelmed. You need some relief. We need to get something off of your plate.” I’ve been doing ministry a long time, and I carry a lot. That’s just the type of person I am. My plate is always full. I don’t know what it’s like to not “be doing something!”
But, doing this a long time has taught me that balance is something we are always working toward. We never fully achieve 110%! When I know there’s a specific place in my life that needs more attention, I direct it there. If I notice that my kids are needing more attention, I stop what I am doing and direct my attention there. I might not make bible study that week and instead say “hey, let’s watch a movie tonight.” Or if I notice that the women in the church need more fellowship or more time, I’m like “hey, this Sunday after church, let’s go out to eat!”
It’s not about doing everything perfect, every time. It’s more about being sensitive to the areas in need and kind of just bounce around. If my husband needs more time, then hey, I’ll set up a hotel or a night out.
Jasmine: I agree, because sometimes, things can just get overwhelming! And your plate is most definitely full, but we’ll talk about that later.
I think you have a certain balance to you. Now, I don’t think anyone is perfect, but it’s good to know that someone is out there that is relatable.
So, I was looking over your website and saw information on “Hiding behind the Lipstick.” Just reading the bit of information on the website made me say “wow, this is something really different.” There are women out there doing great things and running programs for other women, but I really liked this idea of “hiding behind the lipstick,” and so I wanted to know more about that. What can women expect from these workshops?
Myesha:
Well “Hiding behind the Lipstick” was a ministry birthed out of me being a young pastor’s wife and seeing that the women in the church and the women around me were putting on this front. None of us were really being honest about how we were feeling and everyone was giving the answer that people wanted to hear-
Jasmine: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Myesha: So I said “you know what, I don’t want to live like this. I’m not going to be the Barbie that sits there, waves, and looks pretty, having you believe that my life is perfect.” No. That’s not what’s real. And I want what’s real and authentic. So, I started praying about it and the Lord just showed me that we hide behind our lipstick. Not just the lipstick we wear, but the metaphor of hiding behind the lipstick: we hide behind success and careers.
I started looking at the people in ministry and the people around me and I saw the woman who had it all figured out and had the perfect family and the perfect kids. And even the soccer mom, who goes to sleep crying because her husband doesn’t love her anymore. And so I just started writing about all these different experiences and I spoke this message at our women’s retreat. At the time I was hiding! I had insecurities. I wanted to be a speaker and wanted God to use me but I was so afraid that people would reject me and so I didn’t even tell them that I was the speaker for the women's retreat!
Jasmine: What?! Wow.
Myesha: I just said “You’ll see!” I figured that no one would sign up or pay. Like no one would come and see me! And they kept asking, “who’s speaking?” and I said “you’ll see!” This is the message that I spoke, and it was in June of 2009, and I’ll never forget it. And what God did that night was revolutionary. It was beyond what words could say. And the way it was set up—we used dramatization and dance, spoken word and monologues, media and videos—we call it “listspeak” sessions. One woman said, I have two degrees and a PhD but I’d give it all up for somebody to love me.
Jasmine: hmm...
Myesha: Perfection is not the reality. I do a 45 minute talk—more like a message—and I use stage props and posters and you know, all of that, to illustrate how we hide behind all of these things. And using the metaphor of makeup and how each day we put the cleanser on and how that represents the finished work of Christ. And somehow we decide “this is too clean, too pure,” let’s put on toner. Toner closes our pores and makes us a little stronger and resistant to when God wants us to be vulnerable. He wants us to be open: open to hurt and open to people loving us. But we decide no, let’s close these pores.
So then we apply concealer. So instead of seeing what God created, we see fine lines and wrinkles, our insecurities and what we lack. We start hiding things that we don’t like about ourselves. And that’s how the hiding process begins. So like someone would say, “a divorce is a blemish—so let me hide that. Let me just go to church and act like everything is wonderful. Let me leave that in the bedroom. But I just can’t have people see a divorce! It’s not good.”
Jasmine: Right-
Myesha: So we uncover and unpack everything you could imagine. From molestation—which is very, very strong in the church, and people never really deal with it, but we deal with it—to abortion (we deal with it.) There is nothing off limits.
Jasmine: That’s good-
Myesha: From feeling ugly—I’ve heard it all. Once we do the presentation, we ask the women to come and bring their masks. We give them a mask and they can bring it to the altar and that involves them coming out of hiding and laying it down. And we give opportunities to share their confession: “what was your lipstick? “What did God say to you?” And that’s where it goes beyond measure. It’s like when you’re watching lifetime and you’re like “these stories are too compelling. Like no one could be writing this!” Like the things women get up and say. 80 % of the time they say they’ve never shared this with anyone in their life. Standing in a room full of women they’ve never met, sharing very personal things.
Jasmine: Well that’s because you set that atmosphere.
Myesha: It’s a safe place. And I have strong women in ministry who are 60 and 70 and say, “oh my God, I am the evangelist, and I know all the scriptures, but where do I go when I need help?” It’s a very safe place and we’re very, very passionate about it. We are about to go to five cities in November 2014 all across the United States.
Jasmine: Okay!
Myesha: The book, Hiding behind the Lipstick, will be released October 22, 2014. It’ll be all of the experiences (that we talked about) put in one book that people can sit down and read. We're actually recording an EP—they’re healing and encouraging songs that I sing at “Hiding behind the Lipstick” and nowhere else. It’s a way to connect music to the healing process. It’s just all types of things we’re launching and starting. We're also launching a program here.
After they go through the experience (HBTL), and after they’ve opened up and shared for the first time that they were molested—they’ve never shared that —what do they do? We assess people. After they share something, there is someone there from my team who will take them, make sure that this issue isn’t an imminent threat, and refer them to counseling-
Jasmine: So this is good because it’s about more than showing up for church, having a “shut-in” for the night, and hope you feel better after a good shout, and some good music-
Myesha: No, actually, I don’t even shout! This is real talk. People are quiet. I am going for blood! I am ripping hearts! That’s the level we go. It’s just that kind of environment. I just go into those dark places. I mean some people say, “I’m good. That’s all I needed. That’s it.” And they really mean that. This year it will be shown on Preachers of L.A. So I’m really excited about that.
Jasmine: That’s something I’m looking forward to. Now with that, and the book coming out October 22, 2014, I have two questions for you. One, are you going to be selling these books on the tour? Online?
Myesha: Yes, Hiding behind the Lipstick will be available online, Barnes and Nobles—all of those places you can buy a book. And we will have them everywhere we go on the tour.
Jasmine: Second, are you going to be having any kind of book release where people can come and get a signed copy of the book?
Myesha: Yes! Yes! Definitely. We are setting it up where we could do a signing at the bookstore or a local church. So there is a partnership. This allows for more of a connection with the people, and I mean, this is what it’s all about.
Jasmine: Have you decided which cities you’re going to tour? Or are you saving that information for-
Myesha: No, it’s definitely going to be Oakland, CA, Los Angeles, CA, Detroit, MI, Arlington, TX, and maybe even Houston. Atlanta, GA too!
Jasmine: Okay, so you’re going all over the country!
Myesha: Yes! I want to go to even more places. I mean the show hasn’t aired yet, so we are trying to strategically place them so that people can watch it on October 22, 2014. This is when the book releases and the episode airs with “Hiding behind the Lipstick.” Starting November 1, 2014, we will be gone the whole month and then next year we will gear up for a full on tour, but this is promotional to get traction on the ground and allow people to touch it. And that’s what it’s all about anyway.
Jasmine: Well that sounds exciting! I now have to purchase my copy of Hiding behind the Lipstick. And thank you for this.
I mean, when we listen and do what it is we are supposed to be doing, there’s nothing like it. If you chose not to because you thought “Well, I’m just too scared,” or “I don’t feel like it,” or even “I don’t think people will like me or what I have to say,” it would have made a lot of people miss out on their healing.
You know, fear keeps a lot of people from doing what it is they should be doing. But thankfully, you said, “I’m going to do it.”
Myesha: Yes! I’m so glad I did.
Jasmine: You and me both! With that, you’re obviously a multi-talented woman that has a lot going on. As I was watching the show—and let me say something, I’m so glad you did the show because for me, it’s hard to identify a lot of positivity, especially coming from Black women on TV. There are others out there that are showing their real lives, but the message is so negative! For me, Preachers of LA is a breath of fresh air. You give the show a unique point of view.
You blew me away in the first season. Especially when you put on the concert, and sung in it. I mean you operate as a wife, and a mother, and a daughter, AND, AND, AND—I mean you are phenomenal.
Myesha: Well, thank God!
Jasmine: I hope you realize that you are blessed with so many talents. So, I follow you on instagram and saw a picture you posted of yourself in a nursing uniform. I said to myself “She did that too?! I wonder if she’s still in the healthcare field.”
Myesha: I think I really wanted to be a singer, but then I said to myself “no, do something realistic.” My mom was in healthcare, my grandma was in healthcare so I just chose to be a nurse. I was very driven in what I wanted to do. So I think I was 18, went to City College, graduated when I was 20, and started working as a registered nurse. I worked in critical care and worked in telemetry and enjoyed it!
I enjoyed all those years of service. It was really selfless. But, I got to a place in ministry where my patients would be like “hey, you’re that ‘____’” We were on radio and it was getting harder to do. On the job, the staff knew who I was, I mean it just got to a point where I was like “okay God, I hear you.”
I had to leave, but I am still licensed and registered. So if someone passes out in church, you’re going to call me and I’ll come see what’s going on!
Jasmine: Yup! I hear that!
Myesha: I promise you, now I haven’t been on the floor in years, but if someone needed me I’d—
Jasmine: Be able to start an IV?!
Myesha: You NEVER, EVER forget that.
Jasmine: I know what you mean, I used to be a CNA (certified nursing assistant) and I haven’t forgotten any of the steps. It’s just like riding a bicycle. I may not have rode in a year or two, but I still know how to ride one without falling on my face.
Myesha: So yes, I keep my license. I work with the “First Lady’s health Initiative” in L.A. and also in Chicago. It’s a group of Pastor’s wives that get together, and on one Sunday in May, open up our church to the community and to our members for all kinds of health screenings. And this is done all over L.A. County. I think it’s over 50 churches and I work with them closely. Any kind of support we can give to the community we definitely participate in.
Jasmine: That’s wonderful. I told myself that I was going to ask you about that! Glad I did!
Myesha: Yeah, I mention it sometimes in interviews and stuff because I think it’s important for people to see there is more to the story. And when you do it, it’s easier for people to see more of your character.
Jasmine: I mean, being as busy as you are—singing, mothering, doing things for your church, and even for your family—I want to know, what do you do for or with yourself that doesn’t include Wayne or the kids?
Myesha: Now, actually? I’m lacking in that department.
Jasmine: Mhm, okay-
Myesha: Um, I get so much from ministry, that I feel refreshed. I feel so pumped. But, I definitely need to do more reflection and spa time. That’s something I enjoy doing. I’m lucky to get a pedicure without kids. That’s serious.
Jasmine: I hear you!
Myesha: I will definitely need—especially in the upcoming months— to set aside time where it’s just quiet reflection. Just to center myself and have that time.
So, I’m planning to secretly record an album and set aside one day a week to really work on it. And I think that this will help me to get that time I really need. I’m doing this not to just sell a record, I’m doing this for ME.
Jasmine: Well that’s good to know. It’s like, when you get married and have kids, you tend to lose track of yourself.
Myesha:
Yeah! I feel like you should never lose track of yourself. I have to make sure that in my messages I’m staying in touch and not hiding behind all these things.
Jasmine: Okay, so let’s switch lanes. Myesha seems to be a very well-rounded, cool woman who is serious about ministry. How have you been able to maintain everything that you do (before the cameras showed up) while filming Preachers of L.A.?
Myesha: I live my life by seeing everything as visible and movable. And, we try to be as authentic on the show as we can. So, we’re not acting. We’re living whether the cameras are there or not. We actually love each other as husband and wife. People are like “you fold the clothes?” And I’m like “yes! I still have to fold the clothes and do the dishes!” And I keep being normal. I don’t allow fame to affect my life. It’s still my life. Whether Preachers of L.A. are here or not, we are still going to live our life. We see through the show and see what God wants to do through it. We recognize that it’s temporal. I still go out and look a hot mess!
Jasmine: Ha! Right!
Myesha: I’m just being normal! I’m not going to go to the grocery store with make-up on! I mean, you know?
Jasmine: Mhm! Yup. I know-
Myesha: Even though it may be challenging sometimes, I chose this. It may be hard, but this is what I choose. I am there everyday to pick my children up from school. Everyday. So, I’ll use help, if I need it. But to answer your question, the way we live life is by actually living a normal life—everyday.
And it’s been good so far!
Jasmine: And all this does is set the standard. Whether people realize it right now or not, you two are definitely planning a seed. This show is one of two that I actually look forward to watching. I say to myself “these people are real.”
I mean you go out to the grocery store just like anyone else!
Myesha: People are like, “is that you?!” They don’t even recognize me!
I told God when we first did it, “Lord, you are calling me to a great ministry.” This show will be worth it if I can do what I do.
Jasmine: That’s just good, Myesha. Another thing I wanted to touch on was you and Wayne. I know you talked a little bit about you two already, but I’d like to know a little more!
You and Wayne have portrayed a very beautiful marriage. It doesn’t look fake. You can tell that love exists between the two of you and that the cameras don’t affect how you treat each other. I hope you two continue Preachers of L.A. because people need positive examples.
Image: Myesha Chaney and Pastor Wayne Chaney
My husband and I both watch Preachers of L.A. and love the show. We are able to see that “yes disagreements are normal.” Yes. Family issues are a part of life.”
The show really allows people to see the life of a believer, and the ins and outs of how everyone deals with it all.
With that, let’s switch lanes a bit. Do you think the show has affected you at all? Did you watch the first season and say, “oh I could have done that better,” or “I think I handled that pretty well!”
Myesha: Oh the regret!
I learned from season one to be clear about what I feel and where I’m at. I think that this time around I own more of my space.
I thought that I was ultra conservative. I also was portrayed a certain way. And at the time, we were coming off of a bad experience as we had just shot a pilot called “Preacher’s Wives” with Lifetime. The way they edited me had me saying things that were clearly out of context. Things that I never said. It wasn’t going right. The pilot was dead in the water. So thankful.
6 months later when we were about to shoot Preachers of L.A., Lifetime decided that they were going to air the pilot. And they aired that thing! And when I tell you I was on the floor. It broke me all the way down. And that’s because at the time, I really did care about what people thought and I wanted to be liked. I always wanted to come off well.
So, I think we were very safe in the way we shared ourselves in season one of Preachers of L.A. Because it was like, heck no! You cut me and sliced me—I’m not going about to go there again!
Jasmine: Right, right-
Myesha: So after seeing season one, I was like, “you live your life a certain way, so you don’t have to worry about what you say! Live your life!” So, people are going to criticize you. They are not going to like you. It’s the nature of the business. It’s reality. Get over it.
Everyone has a right to have an opinion. But, I have to answer to God for my choices. And I’m going to live my life. So I took more risks and lost weight. And at 31, I’m finally feeling like I’m living my life.
So that’s where we are! And hopefully you’ll see that. I’m pretty sure I’ll be watching and say “what the heck was I thinking?”
Jasmine: And that’s good! But you know what, I know that it’s possible for editing to be shady. They could string a conversation together from something you said two days previous to the scene you’re in.
Myesha: Correct. And the thing about that is when it’s you and you’re before the world, you can’t fix it. So you know, it is what it is.
Jasmine: That’s true. And, when you are upset, they—I don’t know how they do it— will take that 5 minute scene and stretch it to a whole hour. But, hey, it happens. It’s okay.
Myesha: But you know what? This is the Lord’s work. I’ve yielded to that. I’m like “God, if this is how you want me portrayed, I’m good with that.” I prefer to be on this side of things than to be on the side where there is a focus on ratings. I’d prefer to be 100% authentic to myself. If I don’t like something I’m going to say “I don’t like that,” instead of being taken out of context.
Jasmine: I hear you! So, I would like to know how the planning for the next Long Beach Gospel Fest is going.
Myesha: We’re really excited. 2015! I just got back the sponsorship deck. We have a date. We’re going to start booking artists. We think this year is going to be the best ever. This is our fifth one. It is actually now the ONLY fest in southern California. We are moving the date up to June 2015. So, so far, so good! I think we are more excited to do it this year.
Jasmine: Can we expect anything new? Are you going to be performing?
Myesha: Yes! Yes! I’m trying to do a live recording at the top of this year, something I’ve never done before. The gospel fest it going to be a real artistry for me. And since I’ve gotten in shape and lost weight, I really want those things to reflect who I am.
Jasmine: Have you guys ever thought about televising the Gospel Fest? Is that something you’re looking into?
Myesha: We would love to. Yes! I think we should work on that.
Jasmine: I liked the little snippet I saw on the show and was like, “I wish I could see more!”
Myesha: “Riiiight!”
Jasmine: If I could just drop my little suggestion in the box, I’d recommend you all considering it. I really believe you would get a ton of support.
Alright, so I know about the book, “Hiding behind the Lipstick,” that’ll be coming out October 22, 2014, and Gospel Fest in June 2015. Are there any other projects we should be looking for?
Myesha: Well, I’m also planning a women’s retreat for pastor’s wives that deal with some of the issues we go through. As I go out and travel, I’m giving a private cell number out to any and all pastor’s wives and try to be that communication with whatever these issues are. But that is another passion that has really developed through the show.
Jasmine: That’s awesome.
Well, I think we’re done here! Thank you so much. Wow. I really appreciate you for taking the time out to chat.
Myesha: No problem! I look forward to staying connected in the future!
Jasmine: Sounds great....